me, myself and I

for you..........

Thanks to you
tyler collins

Thank you for teaching me how to love
Showing me what the world means
What I've been dreamin' of
And now I know, there is nothing that I could not do
Thanks to You

For teaching me how to feel
Showing me my emotions
Letting me know what's real
From what is not
What I've got is more that I'd ever hoped for
And a lot of what I hope for is
Thanks to you

No mountain, no valley
No time, no space
No heartache, no heartbreak
No fall from grace
Can't stop me from believing
That my love will pull me through
Thanks to You

(Adlib)

There's no mountain, no valley
No time, no space
No heartache, no heartbreak
No fall from grace
Can't stop me from believing
That my love will see me through
Thanks to You
Thanks to You

For teaching me how to live
Putting things in perspective
Teaching me how to give
And how to take
No mistake
We were put here together
And if I breakdown
Forgive me but it's true
That I'm aching with the love I feel inside
Thanks to You
Thanks to you

\m/

farewell

Long time no see. It’s been a while since I last posted. Unfortunately, blogger.com is one of the sites blocked by our office server. SO no updates are done unless I get home and use our home computer. Since I do not have broadband connection at home, you get the picture.

Right now, no updates for the wedding, and there will never be.

I know you're all surprised by this words. Its true, no more updates. Not because I’m moving to a new blog, or I’ll be deleting this and creating a new one. Whatever your thinking right now, its true.

I decided to end it. Why? Let’s just say its for the best. That’s all for now!

Till next time! (I hope there will be)

P.S. By the way, I did pass my CCNA exam! Now that’s over, more time for the preparations? Nope! What I have now is a lot of time to spend looking for a new job. If you happen to know any opening for a call center agent, give a shout in my Cbox! Thanks!

unfortunately,

Sorry for not posting lately. Since my exam was moved, I've been studying and reviewing for the exam. even our preparations are on hold right now. Gil is the only one preparing and taking care of things related for the wedding.

I've got problems in my hands right now with regards to the exam. And I don't want to add more to it. But in terms of going to our prospective Ninongs and Ninangs, I come along to this outings. syempre para makilala ko na rin sila.

tapos, syempre yung pc sa bahay namin hindi gumagana, kaya eto dagdag na problema pa. aside from problems sa work.

hay......sana matapos na yung exam para mabawasan na intindihin ko......

yun lang po!

till next time!

\m/
gil.n.lei
12.09.06

restday

hopefully, today(tuesday, 6/20), we can do alot of things with concern with our preparations. Time sure flies so fast. I need to study, not review, for my CCNA exam on July 14. Alot of work to do! I hope I can study at home for the CCNA exam......too bad all my resources are in soft copy. I need to print it out to be able to study at home....

I need to deduct the days I needed to study for the CCNA from our preparation time. I really hate this! When someone forces me to do something I don't want to do!grr...

better be it over and done so it doesn't add up to my worries. ugh!

wish me gudluck!

till next time!

gil.n.lei
12.09.06

to do's

**phrases in violet are already done

Coordinator

¥ choose reception coordinator
¥ brief about the reception settings

Church

¥ book church on chosen date
¥ arrange for flowers
¥ choose wedding officiant (but we haven't spoken to Father Pogi yet)
¥ attend canonical interview
¥ attend pre-cana seminar
¥ submit church and legal requirements
¥ submit names of lectors and commentators
¥ submit names of princial sponsors
¥ have missalette approved
¥ submit name of photog and videog

Reception/Caterer

¥ book reception venue
¥ schedule taste test
¥ choose caterer
¥ finalize menu
¥ discuss reception details (flowers, waiters, etc)
¥ buy wine

Photo/Video

¥ book photog/videog
¥ schedule prenups
¥ choose prenup pics for tarpulin
¥ prepare list of mandatory shots

Couturier

¥ book couturier
¥ meet with designer for gown designs
¥ have all gown measurements taken
¥ schedule first fittings
¥ schedule final fittings
¥ pick up gowns of entourage

Motiff/Theme

¥ Pastel Green only
¥ Lilac only
¥ Lilac and Green
¥ Violet and Pastel Green

Principal Sponsors

¥ choose principal sponsors
¥ prepare gifts for Principal Sponsors
¥ Inform principal sponsors and schedule visits

Entourage

¥ choose members of the entourage
¥ Inform members of the entourage

Hair and Make-up Artist

¥ choose HMUA
¥ schedule prenups
¥ discuss schedule on wedding day

Cake

¥ choose cake supplier
¥ choose cake design
¥ discuss details with final cake supplier

Host/Strings/Sound System

¥ choose choir for church
¥ choose reception performers
¥ choose emcee

Hotel

¥ choose hotel
¥ book for wedding day

Invitations

¥ Choose supplier or will it be DIY
¥ prepare draft of invitation
¥ finalize invitation
¥ prepare count for invitation
¥ actual printing of invites
¥ address invitations
¥ send out invitations

Souvenirs

¥ choose souvenir
¥ prepare draft of souvenir
¥ finalize souvenir design
¥ prepare count for souvenirs
¥ actual printing of souvenirs
¥ gifts for parents
¥ gifts for principal sponsors
¥ gifts for entourage

Wedding Rings

¥ choose where to buy rings
¥ choose design
¥ actual making of wedding rings - have rings engraved

Florist/Event Stylist

¥ choose florist/event stylist
¥ schedule mock set up with florist
¥ finalize any setting or design

Bridal Car

¥ bridal car
¥ family van

Guest List

¥ draft guest list
¥ rsvp
¥ finalize guest list
¥ finalize seating layout

Reception Program

¥ draft reception program
¥ finalize reception program
¥ hand over details to Emcee

DIYs

¥ AVP
¥ Missalette
¥ do place cards forward place cards to coord
¥ do table cards forward table cards to coord
¥ guest sheets forward guest sheets to coord

Bridal Registry

Honeymoon

¥ decide location
¥ book honeymoon

less than 6 months to go and this is as far as we are right now. Can we make it? I'm loosing hope already.......

my apologies.......

5 months and 3 weeks! I don’t know if were able to pull this through. Now with the demands of our work, I’m loosing the excitement. Our company is giving us the chance to take the CCNA examination. With 1 week review with a CCNA certified trainer and 3 weeks review on your own, and with all the worries and problems with preparing a wedding, I think I’m starting to loose my mind.

I feel like every day is not enough to do these things. I asked our manager for my exam to be moved to another month so I can prepare for the exam. Its ok for the other members of the review to take the exam since they are already studying CCNA for a year or so already in meralco. Good thing our manager granted my request. I’m to take my exam on July 14. With 720 pages to study and take calls 6x a week and 1 day for preparing the wedding, I do not know if anyone can squeeze studying CCNA.

Especially me, I like to study in a quite place to better absorb all the information. I cannot study at work since it’s a kind of noisy environment(duh?! It’s a call center!). Probably if I’m in a morning shift, I can work, then study when I get home. When your in GY, sleep is different in morning and evening. I really have a hard time being awake from my shift all through the day. Like, I wake up at 5 PM Monday, then go home 7 AM Tuesday and spent the whole day of Tuesday studying without sleep?! Its like suiside for me! I need at least 6 to 8 hours of sleep to function properly. And I can only be awake for 14 to 16 hours, except if I’m in morning shift.

Right now though, were not able to go to the gym. We have some financial problems and aside from that, we are currently taking a slimming pill. And it actually works! I’ve been taking it for 5 days and I already lost 8 lbs! And I do not have any complications, except the times I feel dizzy. But I really do not feel any hunger that much. My fiancee lost 5 lbs after 4 days. So, I hope I can loose 10 more pounds.

The reason why it took me this long to post is because I want to post pictures from our vacation leave last week. But my stupid pc has already reached its limt for the HD. I cannot save the pics to upload! I already copy some files in my pc in a USB disc. Now, I need a card reader to be able to copy the pics in the pc. Another problem with the pics is the size. The pics were taken using a large filesize format in the camera. Each pic is as big as 1 MB. Hopefully, tomorrow I can post what happened last week and upload the pics.

Till next time!

\m/
gil.n.lei
12.09.06

attack of uncertainty

This coming Friday, June 9, is our impending “get-together” of our families. This will be the first (should I say 2nd?) time that our families will meet and talk to each other, sans my Mother, after 6 years. Well, you know why my Mother’s not gonna be there.

Anyway, it’s the impending “Pamamanhikan”. I’m really anxious what this meeting’s outcome will be. See, since we’ve been a couple, our families really or should I say never see each other in any occasion, except in my mom’s funeral ,which was very busy and we were not able to attend to them properly. Well, this time it will be big time. Gil’s family will be the only guest that we will entertain. I really hope that my father will not go into “recluse” mode on that day.

***Recluse mode is his not talking much and just stays in one corner and never even attempt to join the conversation.

My older brother, I cannot rely on him with these things as well. His like my father, just smiles and only talks when asked. My younger brother, it depends in the mood. I’m the only one who’s “ma-PR” daw in the family, apart from my mom. Since she’s gone, I’m the appointed PR officer of the family. Eversince my mom’s funeral to my older brothers wedding to the annual death anniversary of my mother. I’m the guest relations, also known as G.R.O.

Being GRO of the family is really tough. Since last decisions will still come from my Father. And crossing the line or his decision is a big major issue. Especially that my father sometimes is closed minded. Now I understand my mother’s position back then. But mom is a natural, people flock to her, she’s a very approachable person. One thing I didn’t get from her.

The reason why an anxious is because of how my family (my father and younger brother), I think, feels about this impending wedding. When I found out how my younger brother felt, I really felt guilty. I feel like spending time with him last Tuesday is not enough. Makes me doubt my decision to get married.

When I’m home, I really feel like a bad person. I’ve been thinking about this since I found out how my younger brother felt. I kind of want not to get married anymore. I know Gil is one of the best things that happened to me. Heck, his the best thing that happen to me, then I’ll just let him go.

You see, I’m in a difficult situation right now. I want to be with Gil but I don’t want my family to feel like that towards me. I don’t want to leave my family. Since there are 3 of us anyway. I can feel my father and younger brother moving away from me.

Our family is not that expressive. When we feel something towards the other, we do not say it. Probably its because its how we grew up, fear, fear of saying how we feel since our father does not want to listen to us. He kept saying before that he does not want to listen to our lies. But that’s another blog entry.

My Aunt will be around that day, as well as my Tito Benjie, my Mother’s youngest brother. That guy got my mom’s PR capabilities. He knows how to entertain or take care of visitors. Hopefully, he can “save” this meeting if in case my father goes to recluse mode.

Nevertheless, I have a lot of things to do today and tomorrow. Today, I need to clean the house, prep it for the imminent Pamamanhikan. Then on Friday morning, need to take care of cooking the roasted chiken, market and more cleaning.

At this rate, I cannot think of if I will continue this or not. With lots of things to do. No time to be depressed, need to make a lot of things done first. I’ll just write Gil a letter for our coming Monthsary. Maybe by writing it, I can come up to a decision about this.

Till next time!\m/

lei

my two cents......

Getting married is not that easy pala. Akala ko just go with the preparations and all the excitement and then what your plans in the future as husband and wife, ganun na yun. Hindi pala. You also need to take consideration about the members of both your family, especially your own. I don’t know, but probably its just me. Since my Mother already left us fours year ago(RIP). Then my older brother got married last year. But that’s just fine since he does not stay or spend that much time with us when his around(see he works as a Seaman or Sea Farer).

But today, all these things hit me. My Aunt (my father’s youngest sister) told me to spend some bonding moments with my younger brother. She said that my younger brother approached her and asked about the Pamamanhikan this coming Friday. He said “So, tuloy na tuloy na pala ang pagpapakasal ni Ate. So, iiwan na nya kami ni Tatay”. It suddenly hit me. My Aunt told me about it this evening as we (Gil and I) are about to leave for work. It hit me so much that when I said it to Gil, I felt like crying. Even as I write this now, makes me feel teary eyed as I remember what he said.

Probably, because of all these preparations and demands of my work (See, our company requires us to come to work for 6 days a week right now. We call it “Critical Month”), I’m unable to spend some time with him anymore. Probably his been feeling like this for a long time since I noticed some signs before but I just shrug it off.

Before all this preparations and plans, I spend some time with him, just around the house, watching TV, cooking meals he likes, ordering pizza and sleep beside each other (my brother is not yet "wean" from sleeping beside our Mother. He cannot sleep unless his beside my Mother. I guess he really misses our Mother since she died. He really likes it when I sleep beside him in the morning). We haven’t done any of those for months now. Makes me feel like I'm an awful sister. With our Mother gone and older brother married, who is he to tell his opinions or feelings? Who is to talk to or make "lambing" with? Probably he sees me as a mother figure in our house since we do not have a mother anymore. Sometime when I look at him, I see that he really misses our Mother. Especially at times na naglalambing sya sa akin.

To make it up to him, tomorrow, instead of cleaning our house (its our restday tomorrow), me and Gil will just spend time with him instead. Either go to the mall or stay at home and order pizza. Then, me and gil will try to subtly tell him that his not going to loose me. But instead, his going to gain another sibling. Then we’ll snuggle together when we sleep, like what we used to before. Even when gil is in our house. Then talk until the wee hours of the night. I know he has lots of questions about life and about the world. And I love it when he and gil talk about guy stuff. His not like that anymore towards Gil. Perhaps he has some hard feelings towards Gil. Hope tomorrow will patch things up. And I promise not to neglect my family anymore. I should by now understand I have an emotinally unattached family. That I should learn to read their actions rather what they are saying…..

But probably, we’ll just go to the mall. We need to buy his school supplies for the coming school year. His finally in college! Now, he’ll understand the things we say about college life.

Well, hope tomorrow we can do a lot of bonding activities!

Till next time!

gil.n.lei
12.09.6

new template

Just changed our blogs template to this new one. As I was browsing the internet for a new template, since I want our blog to be something that really represents our "journey", I stumble upon this template. I really loved it and did all I can to get my blog to look like this. I painstakingly studied the syntax. And finally I was able to! I even asked Chester, my officemate if he can help me assign it to my blog. He was kind enough to tell me how. But since I'm a dumb head, I'm probably a blond in my previous life, I didn't understand it. But after some more time studying, I finally got it!

I like this blog alot since it has the colors I want our motif to be, violet and green. My friends said that the combination is unsual and might not look good. Then, one day, as I was in pinoyexchange.com, MyKasal forums, mps(a pex member) said that she saw the combination I like in one of Martha Stewart's wedding magazine. And she said it looked good. Unsual but good. I was so ecstatic! I quote her and said to her she made my day. I felt like everything is againts me with this idea, even the caterers! MPS gave me hope and excitement for this wedding preparations again. She even said that she will scan the magazine and send it to me. Probably by next week since she's in vacation right now! I'm so excited!

Well, till next time!

\m/
gil.n.lei
12.09.06
mt.carmel

me, myself and I

About Me

Links

Previous

Archives

Sunday, August 06, 2006

for you..........

farewell

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

unfortunately,

Monday, June 19, 2006

restday

Sunday, June 18, 2006

to do's

my apologies.......

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

attack of uncertainty

Monday, June 05, 2006

my two cents......

Friday, June 02, 2006

new template